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[ahoshi!] chapter 4: cracks in the walls.

Woot. I got a Kindle. Another excuse to distract from school work. XD

Here's the new installment of ahoshi!. Enjoy and please don't forget to comment!

At roughly four in the morning, my phone had begun screeching away. I scoffed inwardly, drowning it out. The person on the other end was crazy if they thought I was seriously going to pick up my phone before ten o' clock.

The phone went dead. I settled back down to sleep.


There was a loud bang on the wall beside my head, ferocious enough to make the clock on my wall shake. I jumped in surprise and then I-Pin's manly voice snarled through the plaster, "Pick. Up. Your. Phone. Now."

Before she could punch a hole through the wall, I scrabbled for my phone and answered it. "I'm not interested in whatever the hell you have to sell me, so piss off and go back to sleep you damn telemarketer."

"Actually, this is Colonello."

"Shit - I mean, er – good morning. Is there a problem, Colonello-san?"

"Be at Tsuna's mansion in ten minutes, kora. If you're late, I'm waking you up at three tomorrow."

"Wait, but it takes more than half an hour to get to-"

"Ten minutes." Click.

When I eventually arrived forty seven minutes later, the mansion seemed completely dead. Nobody in their right mind was awake at this hour, and I grumbled darkly under my breath as I dragged my feet against the crimson carpeting, still feeling ill from the bus ride over here. I didn't even know where I was meant to meet Colonello, the mansion was the size of a small village and he could be anywhere.

There was a brisk movement in an open doorway and my head snapped towards it immediately. I remained completely frozen, staring at the now empty space. I was so sure I had just seen someone walk past.

"…hello? Colonello-san?" I asked nervously.

Nobody answered.

It only just began to dawn on me how scary the Vongola mansion was. It was one of those buildings that would be perfect for a horror movie- the portraits of Vongola's predecessors stared occupants down from every wall, chandeliers dangled precariously and chimed eerily in the dead silence and there was so much space, it felt like it was swallowing me whole.

There had been a massacre in here during the Primo's reign, hadn't there? Maybe the ghosts of the victims were still lurking around here, waiting to exact revenge on anybody stupid enough to come in at four in the morning alone-

"Hello?" I blurted.

Of course I wasn't panicked. Of course I didn't believe in ghosts.

There was a rustle of fabric and I jerked around, catching the outline of a dark figure slipping past another arched doorway. Instinctively, I reached for one of my grenades. Wait a minute, but that wouldn't work, would it? Explosions wouldn't affect ghost, they'd just sink right through them and they wouldn't even melt into ectoplasmic goo because they didn't feel anything-

Holy crap, the ghost just went past a doorway on the other side of the hall. How did it get there so fast? The hall was the size of a football pitch!

Screw meeting Colonello. I didn't need training today. I could come back in a week or so, and we'd be able to continue then. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that. I doubted he was even in the mansion. Maybe he wasn't even coming. Yeah. He had probably decided it was too early and went back to sleep.

Once I'd convinced myself that I shouldn't feel at all horrible about ditching Colonello, I began to slowly back away in the direction of the main doors.

Then suddenly there was a voice from right behind me. "Lambo?"

I instinctively yelled and slammed my elbow into whoever – or whatever – was behind me. Instead of my blow sinking straight through ghostly ectoplasm, my elbow smashed into soft human flesh. There was a loud cry of pain and then a muffled thump followed.

Turning around, I came face to face with my incapacitated ghost. "…Shouichi?"

The auburn haired technician was groaning in pain on the floor, clutching at his stomach. "Why did you hit me?"

"It was your fault for creeping up on me! Why are you even here? Who the hell wakes up this early?"

Shouichi began to sit up, readjusting his glasses and wincing in pain. "The Hoverbikes' global positioning systems crashed and their display drivers needed to be upgraded, so Spanner and I rewrote the entire program and recalibrated it so that it would receive information directly from the Vongola super computer, rather than having to go through a proxy."

"…basically you mean there was a lot of work to do, so you and Spanner pulled an all-nighter."

"Basically, yes."

"Just say that next time." I held my hand out for Shouichi to take.

With a small sigh, he took my proffered hand and I helped pull him to his feet. He self consciously rearranged his long bangs and then coughed quietly into his fist. "What are you doing here, Lambo?"

"Yare, yare. I'm meant to be meeting Colonello-san here. He's my new home tutor, so we're having a training session today. I can't find him anywhere though."

"Colonello? I saw him heading towards the outdoor training facilities. He was carrying all these really big guns though and he looked really mad. You might want to be careful," Shouchi advised me.

"Crap. Can you go tell him I'm sick, or something?"

"…urrgh, my stomach hurts-"

I snapped at him, "Never mind. I'll go see him. When I return to you as a tiny box of mangled meat, you'll be sorry."

He mumbled, "I somehow doubt that."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. Have fun with Colonello."

When I finally found the training ground Colonello was in, the first thing I noticed was a sack of guns. The nozzle of a bazooka burst through the mouth of the burlap sack. My fear heightened.

A sharp voice carried across the clearing. "I told you to be here in ten minutes, kora."

I immediately defended myself, "Yeah, well that was impossible. It takes ten minutes for the bus to come, thirty minutes for it to get to the station near the Vongola mansion and another five minutes to run here. There's no way-"

"You're waking up at three tomorrow."

"What? But that's so unfair-"

"I don't want to hear it," Colonello interrupted me. His folded arms brooked no further argument.

I was half inclined to continue fighting anyways, but given that he had a whole array of guns at his disposal, that probably wasn't wise. I fell sullenly silent and stared at the weapon-strewn ground. We really weren't getting off to a good start.

He asked me, "Do you know what Sambo is?"

I stared at him. "You mean the lion from the Lion King?"

He didn't laugh. "Sambo is a martial art developed in Russia. It combines the strongest moves from other martial arts like karate and judo, and is one of the most powerful fighting systems in the world, kora."

I attempted to crack a joke. "Well, you're naturally biased because you use it, right?"

"I'm not."

There was a dead silence.

"We're going to begin with some standard Sambo moves, and then we're going to spar using what you've learned. I hope you're prepared, kora."

I wondered if it was too late to ask Hibari to tutor me instead.

I jerked back into functional thought when his leg ripped straight through the air with a whistle. The movement had been so fast, I had nearly missed it. I realised that Colonello had already begun demonstrating the exercises, and I had failed to process the very first one.

As he launched into a series of moves and explained where they would strike vital points, I began to grow more and more interested in Sambo. I had never been taught a disciplined, regulated fighting system and was found it fascinating, if not a little limiting at the same time. When I was forced to repeat the moves, I discovered that the process and especially Colonello were really, really frustrating.

When I copied a kick, he stopped me. "Your leg needs to be at a ninety degree angle before you extend it."

When I raised my arms in a block, he stopped me. "You need to move faster."

When I pivoted on my foot to roundhouse kick, he stopped me. "You need to follow through."

When I delivered a punch, he stopped me. "You need to make sure your thumb is on the outside of your fist-"

I snapped irritably, "Does it matter? All that matters is that I hit the guy, right?"

His expression didn't change, but I could tell he wasn't impressed with my outburst. "If keep your thumb behind your fingers and then punch someone at full power, you are going to be ten times more likely to break it. There is next to no chance of that happening if you keep it outside."

I fell into a sullen silence, staring at him. I was sorely tempted to leave my fist as it was, just to piss him off, but really didn't want to break any fingers. Damn stupid elite COMSUBIN home tutors who knew their shit.

I slowly slipped my thumb to the outside of my fist.

When we'd finished running through all the moves, he told me, "Now repeat all of those moves fifty times."

I blurted, "What? That's inhumane, there were like eighty moves! I'll be dead by the time we spar-"

"Lambo," his voice was dangerous and I could tell he was losing patience. "You asked me to train you. I would much rather not use force to motivate you, but if-"

"Fucking hell, I've got it," I muttered bitterly. "I'll do the repetitions."

His eyes narrowed at me and he had fallen deathly silent, as though he was restraining the overwhelming urge to punch me. To be honest, I felt exactly the same way. I probably stood a chance against him, now that he didn't have his gun. I'd heard things about his Maximum Burst and his legendary sharp shooting ability, but nobody had ever mentioned how good he was at hand to hand combat. I didn't expect to win against him even without his gun, but I could probably land one good hit.

The fact that we were going to spar later was all that kept me going through the tedious repetitions. My muscles were screeching in agony, but I ignored them, glaring at Colonello all the while.

I made every effort to show that I despised him and that I hated the regimen he was putting me through. An hour and a half later, I had finished the task he had set me without ever breaking eye contact with him. He returned my glare with a level, icy blue stare of his own and it was only now that he unfolded his arms.

"We're going to spar," he announced.

Usually, I would have demanded a break after an exercise session as crazily intense as the one he had just put me through. My rage had managed to overpower my fatigue however and his words flicked a switch within me, a flood of energy burst through a dam of self-preservation. With a loud roar, I charged him head-on.

He easily sidestepped me and I instinctively smashed my elbow to the left, trying to follow his movements. His eyes narrowed for a split second at my unexpected move and he grabbed my elbow, twisting it behind me. The next thing I knew, the blue sky was swimming before my eyes and then my back was one long scream of pain.

I gritted my teeth, trying to regain my breath, but then Colonello's fingers clamped shut around my neck. My hands scrabbled at his wrist in an attempt to fling him off and I brought my knee up roughly, smashing it into his stomach. Unfortunately, he had abs of steel and felt no pain.

He raised his fist high above his head. I gnashed my teeth at him, spat at him, cursed him and he pinned my hands to my sides with his knees. I wasn't going down without a fight, damn it!

There was a howl of air as his fist came crashing down. I choked as I struggled for oxygen, my muscles bulged as I tried to break free, my legs flailed uselessly-

And then his knuckles stopped a mere millimetre away from my face.

I stared in shock at the tanned knuckles before me, not quite believing that he hadn't taken the chance to break my nose and most of my skull. He released my neck and stepped off of me, sinking into a defensive position. My throat throbbed with pain.

His icy blue eyes showed no mercy. "Again."

Several hours later found me slumped over the edge of Fuuta's kitchen table. When Fuuta entered, he came to an abrupt stop when he saw my lifeless form sprawled over the previously speckless surface.

He ventured, "Lambo? Are you alright?"

"I had my first training session with Colonello-san today," I mumbled into wood.

"And? How was it?" He questioned.

"…I want to die."

Fuuta sighed and made his way over to me, slipping into a chair. "What happened?"

My mind was numb. "My body hurts all over. I can't move."

"Don't be so overdramatic. Of course you can move-"

"I've been here for the past two hours," I interrupted him.


A short silence fell between us.

Fuuta was obviously grasping at things to say. "Well, I'm sure you'll see improvement with Colonello soon. After all, quel che non ammazza, ingrassa, what doesn't kill you will feed you."

"Yeah well, campa cavallo, che l'erba cresce, while the horse starves, the grass grows. I'll be dead by the time I see improvement," I muttered darkly.

"You're not dead yet. Dinchè c'è vita c'è speranza, where there's life, there's hope. Don't give up, Lambo," he encouraged me.

"I'm not giving up," I protested hotly. "I'm just pissed off that Colonello turned out to be such a bastard."

Fuuta frowned at my use of foul language, as he always did. "Colonello is one the funniest and nicest people I've ever met. You must be over exaggerating-"

"Fuuta, I can't move."

Fuuta didn't know what to say again. "Well…he did spend a lot of time training COMSUBIN elites. He would have had to be very professional and had to work them really hard to help them maintain their high standard. Maybe he's just training you the same way he would them. If anything, you should be flattered that he's putting you on the same level as them."

I made a non-committal sound. I wasn't convinced.

I was forced to leave the house when I-Pin went into one of her not-as-rare-as-I-would-hope rages. Given that she was a professional martial artist, extremely manly and had a habit of breaking things when she was mad; I didn't think the house would survive.

Her part time job as a ramen delivery girl hadn't gone so well today. Kawahira had forced her to make three trips back and forth to his house because he had complained about the sogginess of the noodles. Although I knew this was just one of his manipulative ploys to annoy I-Pin and force her to spend more time with him, she fell hook, line and sinker for his tactics every time. It was a shame she didn't realise how much he liked her.

I dragged myself through the cobblestone streets, my drained body slugging forwards on autopilot. It really wasn't any surprise that I collapsed outside Reborn's apartment building door and I punched 13C into the intercom.

"Hello," he answered.

I moaned miserably, "Reborn, tell me what your door code is so I can come up."

"I'd much rather not put an end to my privacy," Reborn replied curtly. "What do you want, cow?"

"Please tell me what the meaning of teamwork is. I'm begging you."

"This is one of dame Tsuna's half-assed attempts to keep you off the mission roster, isn't it?"

"What? So this stupid definition crap is really just an excuse to get me out of the way?"

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, cow. The last guy who was asked to give Tsuna a definition still isn't on the mission roster."

"How long has he been suspended?"

"About three years."

Any hope I had was vacuumed out of me. "Reborn, I want to die. What do I do?"

"Why the hell are you asking me?"

"Because you're Vongola's bitch."

There was a sharp silence.

Then a bullet smashed straight into the wall a fraction away from my head.


Chapter 5 preview : you greedy, bisexual bastard.

His thumbs began to climb up the length of my leg, over my ankle, beneath my trouser sleeve, over my knee, over my thigh. Colonello added pressure to his thumbs and massaged my skin as he began to slowly work his way up. I forced myself to stare at his hands and nothing else, even though he was a hair's breadth away from me, even though I could smell the earthy smell of sweat and sun radiating from his skin. He found a spot that made every hair on my body stand straight on end and my lips parted as I sucked air in desperately, the sensation flooding through my nervous system.

I arched instinctively. "There- right there-"

There was an article today on ridiculous names. I found one that beat Billboard Wong. Meet Pedor File.
(Special thanks to alguien22792, orangesky3, sweet-and-simple for the questions. Don't forget, if there's anything you want to slam me about or interrogate me about, just drop me a review and I'll reply in this section in the next chapter!)

What's the situation with adultfanfiction.net?
Well, I don't actually remember if I posted the newest chapter up there. I logged in and couldn't find it, so I think they may have pulled it from the site. I do genuinely feel horrible however, and again, I apologise if I've pissed off anyone.

Lambo's definitely going to be torn in half from Colonello's training, isn't he?
Not just from the training. XD Okay, that was highly inappropriate. I apologise for my lewdness, but I've just been writing A SMEXEH COLONELLO X LAMBO SCENE, so it only makes sense that I'm going to be full of double entendres from this point on.

But to answer your question, yes. Neither Reborn nor Colonello are going to go easy on Lambo. Lambo will constantly come home in a state dangerously close to death.

Why would Reborn tell Lambo that Bianchi was screwing Spanner of all people?
He was essentially trying to see how gullible Lambo was, because he wouldn't be Reborn if he didn't take sadistic pleasure in Lambo's fails. Bianchi and Spanner would never date and the fact that Lambo doesn't realise that only adds to how silly and naïve he still is.

Is Colonello going to take Lambo's virginity?
Man. It actually hurts me that I know I can't answer this question. I WANT TO. SO. BADLY.

Is Reborn actually in love with Lambo?
Reborn's attracted to him, yes. But Reborn also knows that Lambo doesn't see him in that way, at least, not yet. He was essentially biding his time and going to work his way into Lambo's heart slowly and sneakily, but then Colonello came and essentially messed everything up.

Is Lambo ever going to get laid in this fic?
Honey. Lambo gets what he wants. Only this time, it won't take him forever. Anticipate a lemon soon.

What's up with your weird characterisation of Colonello?
I know he's normally portrayed as a total playboy, but you have to remember there's a big age difference between Lambo and Colonello. Colonello still sees Lambo as the kid Tsuna used to tote around- you don't go around trying to seduce toddlers, even if they're no longer toddlers because that image is still stuck in your mind. He's also quite mature and knows there have to be certain boundaries between him and his student, he takes his job as a home tutor very seriously because he loves it. I'm planning on having him slowly reveal his usual, sexy side as he and Lambo warm up to one another. (You can read that literally or figuratively.)

Well, I should probably be safe and not put anything silly or satirical here. I will, however, post a quote from the best web series character known to mankind.

"Do you know what World of Warcraft and my old high school have in common? You start off very weak and get beaten up everyday, and then you go away, get a nice sword and kill everybody."

Anyone who guesses who said this gets major loving from yours truly. And the added reward of being DAMN AWESOME.

Please review!

- selandora



( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2010 07:45 am (UTC)
Great udpdate!! I usually catch this fic on aff.net or ff.net but saw this first on my lj. The next chapter looks freaking hot!
Sep. 11th, 2010 05:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting! :)

Erm, posting at aff.net is kind of iffy at the moment. I'll be sure to get it sorted it out before the smexeh scenes come in, cause those are you know, incredibly important.

The next chapter was so much fun to write. Sexual tension? I think so.
Sep. 11th, 2010 02:34 am (UTC)
Oh shouchi, you sly dog, implying things ;D
LMAO WoW is like high school, except if you forget to level up you get left behind by your party
ugh school is owning me pretty bad right now.
Sep. 11th, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC)
Shouichi doesn't get enough love. :( and when he does, he's always lumped with spanner. wtf happened to 10051?

ehehe, sexy stuff coming right up! i just wrote lambo and colonello's first sexual counter so ITS TIME TO PARTAY. and it is also time for reborn to gtf in there.

LMFAO that's awesome. i like it more than the original.

urgh, don't worry. me too. i get the feeling i'll just randomly melt into a puddle and sob all the frustration out.
Sep. 11th, 2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
I totally follow this story on Fanfiction.net!! That's so amazing to find it here on LJ too ♥

Okay, I have to tell you right off the bat that your characterization of Lambo is absolutely brilliant and I hope you feel proud every single time you write him because you should. Honestly! Your story is the first I've seen that writes Lambo the way I'd always thought he'd still be.

On that note, that in turn also makes this one of the best Reborn/Lambo fanfictions I have ever had the pleasure of coming across. Even if you have some OOC moments, overall, you do such a good job on keeping everyone in their original context and never stray so far from it that it leaves me feeling like you're losing your touch.

I also like that you're actually taking the route of building the story up. So many people quickly jump into the idea of a developing relationship instead of starting where there isn't any sexual/romantic tension even present with the exception of the 8059 stuff in the beginning but that doesn't count in my books. Good for you for taking it slow and steady. It keeps my interest and actually makes me yearn for when the next chapter will come out.

For this chapter, I really enjoyed the training! It went totally how I expected and I loved that Colonello was such a drill sergeant! I found myself giggling every few seconds or so because the image in my mind was just brilliant.

"Honey. Lambo gets what he wants." I know it wasn't part of th story, but I totally laughed.

Anyway, keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more when the time comes ♥

goes to copy/paste review at FF.net
Sep. 11th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
oh yay i saw this on ff.net too! :) thanks for taking the time to crosspost, i know its a pain in the butt.

aww, thanks so much! i actually based my lambo off of hiccough from how to train your dragon and mixed in elements of the way i used to characterise sirius black from my random stab at hp fanfiction. it makes me happy that you like his characterisation because i am super attached to lambo. :)

wow, that's really high praise. i'd like to ask if it wouldn't trouble you, can you please tell me where i've fallen OOC? i don't mean to challenge you or anything and hope you don't take it that way, i'd just like to know how i can improve 'ahoshi!' and don't make the same mistakes later on. :S yeah, i'm kind of a perfectionist...

thanks! this story is essentially meant to be lambo's sexual awakening, so that's why i wanted to start from a point where he wasn't really interested in anyone. in the next chapter, lambo really starts to lust after colonello. :)

haha, yay! i was so terrified about how people would percieve colonello, i know i deviated completely from the norm with him. colonello's so hot. (i'm terrified i'm becoming biased)

it's true! XD

thanks so much for taking the time to review/comment! it means a lot to me. :)
Sep. 12th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, I can't think of any off the top of my head that I'd be able to reference directly. However, I do know that they were just a couple sentences along the way, not giant chunks. Ahh, I wish I could be more helpful with this critic D:

I'll keep it in mind for the future, however, and if I come across anything of the like, I'll let you know! :D How about that?

And reviews are what help writers know they're appreciated ♥ I am all too happy to contribute!
Sep. 13th, 2010 04:31 pm (UTC)
I was very happy to find an update~!!!!

And really how much of a death wish does Lambo have? Saying Reborn's the Vongola's bitch.... XDDDD But then again Reborn is one of my main RP charas and my favorite character in the whole series so I'm incredibly biased.

I can't wait for the next chapter~

Also, one of your questions was about Colonnello being oddly characterized... I'd have to disagree with that entirely. I think you've characterized him very well. Despite his teasing and sexiness, he is at the core, a soldier. I really like that you're establishing all three of their characters before getting into the actual relationship bits. I do have to say though that Lambo is your absolute best~!
Sep. 14th, 2010 04:37 am (UTC)
i'm happy that you took the time to read! :)

lambo is very silly. that's my justification for everything. XD haha, you rp reborn? lucky you! he's awesome and hes very very sexy.

wow you completely settled all my insecurities about colonello. thanks for that. :) i promise he will get sexier. i have the most fun writing lambo, so i guess its cool that it worked out that way. :)

thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Sep. 16th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
I know exactly what the preview pertains to! I swear I do! XD

I know I've asked this ever since I first started readign your story, but~ when's the next update? *o* I'm addicted to this story!
Sep. 17th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
heeheehee. sure. :)

um the next update should be in the range of 2-3 weeks, depending on how badly my ass is beat with english literature essays.

thanks so much for reading and commenting! :)
Sep. 17th, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
... Two to three weeks away from now or when you last updated?
Sep. 17th, 2010 06:28 am (UTC)
from my last update.

(gosh, when did i last update?)

expect to see something between 22-29 september. :)
Sep. 18th, 2010 12:28 pm (UTC)
Okeee... I try and be patient T.T
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )